Consent policy at events hosted by Stefanos & Shay

We look forward to seeing you at one of our events! We want to be as transparent as possible with regards to our hosting policies and beliefs- hopefully this page will help you decide whether our events are a fit for you.

Consent Culture

Violations of our code of conduct will not be tolerated. We are dedicated to providing an environment of enthusiastic consent, free from harrassment. Violations include inappropriate & unwanted comments, infringing on personal space, touching (person or property) without explicit permission, etc. We now offer a dungeon orientation before many of our events, “charter” at the door to go over the rules, and multiple posters placed around venues where we host succinctly reviewing elements of dungeon etiquette… so ignorance really is no excuse. If you’ve never been to a dungeon before, attend our orientation and read about dungeon etiquette and rules before you come — this is a good starting place.

How to report a problem

If you are being harassed, have your consent violated, or even just see an attendee making others uncomfortable, please report this to the event hosts as soon as possible. We will be wearing glowing blue armbands and can generally be easily found circulating around the event. You may also ask the DM (wearing an orange vest) or the cashier to radio us. After an event, we can be contacted on Fetlife or via e-mail at stefanosandshay AT gmail.

What happens after a report is made?

If a consent violation is witnessed by us or reported to us, the next steps are entirely at our judgement and discretion. We take reports very seriously and, as a general philosophy, are inclined to believe (and never blame) the person making a report. Action taken regarding the person being reported may vary from having a nice educational chat to them being banned from any future events we host. This will vary based on the nature of the reported incident, the wishes of the person making the report, and the response of the person who is reported when we discuss it with them. If you do not feel comfortable leaving the handling of such issues to our discretion, *DO NOT COME TO OUR EVENT*. By coming to our events, you are agreeing to this handling of reported incidents.

For a fantastic discussion on “being creepy” that may also help you understand this policy, please see this article by Holly Pervocracy, this article by Dr. Nerd Love on why “socially awkward” is no excuse, and this article by Charlie Glickman. You might also try this excellent article on how to approach a woman you don’t know without getting maced.


dungeon ettiquete for everyone